Sample Sizes

Instead of “congrats” or “best wishes” or “I am so excited for you,” people should say, “Go to the doctor right now and get a perscription of Zoloft.” or “You should consider taking up yoga.” Maybe, “Hope you have a healthy relationship with whiskey.” or even, “You should start juicing today and lose as much weight as possible.”

I figured wedding dress shopping would be fun. I expected not to be able zip them up. What I didn’t expect was that a size 6 is a size 0 in jeans and they are made for pre-pubescent girls. When getting married you should consider having no hips and definitely no butt. Sample sizes do not allow for that.

It was about the time that the lady pulled on the bottom of the top of the dress and kept saying, it’s stuck on something. I had to swollow my pride and say, “It’s stuck on me. That is my hip bone you are trying to get passed.” When she stepped out of the dressing room it took everything I had not to slide down the wall and cry in a puddle of tulle and bridal satin. I kept it together and cried standing up. In the middle of the fourth bridal shop I walked into, I cried. I cried because I was at a point in my life when I was happy with me. These dresses…these sample sizes are ripping that away. My biggest fear was that I would be self-conscious my entire wedding day.

Whit4I would not succumb to the sample sizes. I kept on keeping on. I finally walked into the place I was trying to avoid, David’s Bridal. It wasn’t that they didn’t have beautiful dresses, but they seemed to have the same ones that everyone else wore. They also had other sample sizes. Their biggest size on the rack wasn’t a size 8. They had 10’s and 12’s. By golly they even had a 14 and 16! I put on a dress. I put on another. Each one going over my hips. Some zipped up, some didn’t, but they all went over my hips.
It was about the tenth dress I fit over my hips that I picked one. I loved it, but then there was another. How does one choose. They both made me feel beautiful and not like a killer whale trying to fit herself into a dolphins body. I left without the dress, but came back 2 weeks later and put it on. It zipped again. It wasn’t a fluke. The dress was bought immediately.

I guess if I could tell any bride about wedding dress shopping who is above a size 8, it is this. “Sample Sizes are not indicative of how beautiful you will feel on your wedding day. You will find your dress…save the tears for your vows.”

Now there was everything else to worry about. Invites. Pictures. Decorations. Food. Guest list…oh the guest list.



This blog is the first of a series. You can catch the next installment over at Paper Rainbows.


4 thoughts on “Sample Sizes

  1. Pingback: The one about Paper…errrr… | paper rainbows

  2. Pingback: Cracklins & Juicing | I saw my mom.

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